How to Become an Emotionally Intelligent Leader

When coaching clients using DISC, I've found that it's not enough to simply be self-aware of our own communication style and that of our teammates or the people we manage. The real question is: How do we naturally relate to, communicate with, and lead others while managing our emotions and relationships in our everyday workplace behaviours?

DISC behavioral leaning refers to your natural tendency to display more of one (or two) of the four DISC behavioral styles than the others. It's your "default" way of behaving, communicating, and responding to situations at work. The four behavioural styles under DISC include:

D: Dominance – Direct, results-oriented, decisive, takes charge

I: Influence – Enthusiastic, optimistic, persuasive, people-focused

S: Steadiness – Patient, reliable, supportive, team-oriented

C: Conscientiousness – Analytical, detail-oriented, accurate, quality-focused

DISC measures what people do (observable behaviors), not who they are deep inside (personality).

Perhaps if we combine the DISC and GENOS EI frameworks, we can explore together questions for leadership growth such as:

• What is your natural style of behaving and communicating at the workplace?

• How emotionally intelligent is the way you behave and communicate? 

Genos EI is a behavior-based emotional intelligence assessment that measures how well leaders and professionals demonstrate six observable workplace competencies. The six are:

• Self-Awareness: Recognising your own emotions and their impact

• Awareness of Others: Perceiving and understanding others' emotions

• Authenticity: Being genuine and trustworthy in interactions

• Emotional Reasoning: Using emotional information in decision-making

• Self-Management: Regulating emotions under pressure

• Inspiring Performance: Motivating others to achieve peak performance

  
  

Combining the DISC and Genos EI frameworks gives leaders a clear, actionable roadmap for developing themselves  without asking them to abandon who they are. Instead, it helps them leverage their natural strengths more consciously, especially under pressure, creating leaders who are effective, trusted, and resilient in today's hybrid, multicultural, and high-performance environments.

DISC and Genos EI Frameworks

Framework	What it Shows	Leadership Value
DISC	Default behaviour and communication style	Helps leaders understand strengths, stress triggers, and interpersonal preferences.
Genos EI	Emotionally intelligent workplace behaviours	Helps leaders build trust, regulate reactions, and influence others more effectively.

DISC is useful for decoding style. Genos EI is useful for developing maturity in that style. Used together, they create a fuller picture of both performance and people impact.

The Genos EI lens

How can the six competencies for Genos EI show up in our day-to-day behaviours? They show up when we recognise stress signals, pause before reacting, read other people accurately, and influence others with trust rather than control. So what do high-EI leaders look like by style?

If you are a D‑style leader

A high-EI D leader is still direct, decisive, and results-driven, but they also notice when their pace creates pressure for others. They pause long enough to listen, check impact, and balance speed with inclusion.

If you are a D‑style leader, the EI question is:

• Do you pause long enough to notice how your pace and directness feel to others?

• Can you stay calm when you’re frustrated, instead of pushing harder?

What you can do right now:

• Before making a big decision, ask 1-2 direct questions:

  • “How does this feel for you?”

  • “What’s one risk I might be missing?”

• After a tough meeting, take 2 minutes to journal:

  • “What did I feel during that conversation?”

  • “How do I think others felt?”

You’re still a D; you’re just leading with more awareness and inclusion.

If you are an I‑style leader

A high-EI I leader remains energetic, warm, and engaging, but they also regulate their enthusiasm so it does not become over-talking or over-promising. They read the room, make space for quieter voices, and build genuine relationships instead of relying only on charisma.

If you are an I‑style leader, the EI question is:

• Do you notice when your energy becomes over‑talking or over‑promising?

• Can you stay present when someone is stressed or quiet, instead of “fixing it” with cheer?

What you can do right now:

• In your next meeting, aim to speak 10–20% less and listen more.

• After the meeting, ask:

  • “Who didn’t get to speak?”

  • “What did I miss by focusing on the big picture?”

• Add one “checking‑in” habit per week:

  • “How are you really doing?”

You stay warm and engaging, but you become more grounded and emotionally attuned.

If you are an S‑style leader

A high-EI S leader stays calm, steady, and supportive, but they also develop the courage to address issues early. They can speak up without losing their composure, preserving harmony while still being clear.

If you are an S‑style leader, the EI question is:

• Do you ever avoid conflict so much that issues linger under the surface?

• Can you speak up when things feel unfair, without losing your calm?

What you can do right now:

• Identify one low‑risk topic you usually avoid and speak up about it.

  • “I’ve noticed we keep putting this off. Can we talk about it?”

• Use “I feel” language instead of blaming:

  • “I feel uneasy when deadlines shift without discussion.”

• Schedule one private check‑in per week with a team member who seems quiet.

You stay steady and supportive, but you also become a more courageous communicator.

If you are an C‑style leader

A high-EI C leader remains accurate, structured, and reliable, but they avoid becoming rigid or overly perfectionistic. They communicate data in a more human way, stay flexible when conditions change, and balance analysis with action.

If you are an C‑style leader, the EI question is:

• Do you let data and process dominate warmth and inclusion?

• Can you stay flexible when the situation changes faster than your plans?

What you can do right now:

• Before criticising a report, ask:

  • “What’s one thing this person did well?”

• When you feel anxious about a change, ask:

  • “What’s actually at risk here?”

• Add one “feeling check” to your routine:

  • “How do I think this update will land for the team?”

You stay precise and organised, but you lead with more empathy and adaptability.

Growing Your EI as a Leader

After 1-3 months, you can look for signs of progress such as more openness from others, easier difficult conversations, and less defensiveness in the team. These are signs that emotional intelligence is growing inside your DISC style, not replacing it.

DISC plus Genos EI helps you keep your strengths while managing your emotional “edges” more effectively. That means leading with more empathy, clarity, and resilience in hybrid, multicultural, and high-performance environments.

Developing emotionally intelligent leaders is not about changing who you are. It is about helping you use your strengths more consciously and sensitively, especially when stress, deadlines, or performance pressure are high.

Ready to grow as an emotionally intelligent leader?

Book your first 30-minute session today to explore how combining DISC and Genos EI can help you lead with more empathy, clarity, and resilience while staying true to your authentic style: https://tidycal.com/coachjulie/firstmeeting